Let me ask you something: How many times have you felt buried under the weight of your “to-do” list? I’ve been there—scrambling from one task to the next, ticking off boxes, and yet still feeling unfulfilled. For years, I was consumed by my to-do list, thinking that if I just got through it, I’d finally have time for myself. But you know what? That time never came. So, I started asking a different question: Who do I want to be instead of just focusing on what I want to do?
That’s when I realized the power of the “to-be” list. Unlike a to-do list, which demands energy, a to-be list gives it back. It shifts the focus from external achievements to internal alignment. For me, my to-be list includes being present, being grounded, and being kind to myself. It’s a reminder that life isn’t about how much I can accomplish in a day—it’s about who I am becoming in the process.
The “Me Too” Mindset
Another shift that changed everything for me was reframing my priorities. You’ve probably heard the advice to put yourself first, but that can feel self-centered or impossible when life pulls you in a million directions. Here’s what I’ve learned: It doesn’t have to be “me first,” but it does need to be “me too.”
When I began honoring my needs alongside everyone else’s, I started setting healthier boundaries. Saying “me too” means that I recognize my value and that my energy isn’t limitless. It’s about giving myself permission to pause, rest, and recharge—not as an afterthought, but as a necessity. It’s not selfish; it’s survival. And honestly, the people around me benefit from a more balanced, present version of me.
The Power of Saying “No”
Let’s talk about the hardest word in the English language: no. For a long time, I thought saying no meant I was letting people down. I was the person who said yes to everything—every invitation, every opportunity, every favor. But here’s the truth: Every time I said yes to something I didn’t truly want or have the energy for, I was saying no to myself.
I’ve learned that saying no doesn’t mean rejection; it means protection. It’s protecting your time, your energy, and your peace. And here’s the kicker: when you say no to the things that don’t align with your “to-be” list, you create space for the things that do.
Now, when I’m faced with a decision, I ask myself: Will this bring me closer to the person I want to be? If the answer is no, then my response is clear. And you know what? People respect it. Saying no with kindness and clarity is far more powerful than a begrudging yes.
Energy Is a Limited Resource
One of the most valuable lessons I’ve learned is that energy is like money in a bank account. You can’t keep spending it without making deposits. The old me used to overdraw that account daily, saying yes to everyone else and leaving nothing for myself. But now, I treat my energy as sacred.
This means prioritizing rest, mindfulness, and practices that refill my tank. Whether it’s breathwork, yoga, or simply taking a walk in nature, I honor my energy by giving it time to recharge. And when I do this, I’m not just better for myself—I’m better for everyone around me.
Making the Shift
If you’re feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to take a step back and look at your to-do list. Ask yourself: Does this list reflect who I want to be? Or is it just a series of tasks that keep me busy but not fulfilled? Then, create a to-be list. Start small—maybe you want to be more patient, more present, or more joyful. Let that list guide your choices.
And remember, it’s okay to say no. It’s okay to limit your energy. It’s okay to say “me too.” Because when you prioritize who you want to be, the rest of your life starts to fall into place.
So here’s my challenge to you: Let go of the idea that your worth is tied to what you accomplish. Focus instead on becoming the person you’re proud to be. Because at the end of the day, your to-be list is what truly matters.
Let’s rewrite the script together—starting today.
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